Hi Q!

Looks like these guys have already helped you solve the case, but I got heaps of thoughts when I read your posts so I'm going to write them. I used to have semi regular contact with guides (or I was hallucinating and utterly insane, we'll never know) and now? None. I've lost interest. Even in the old days when I would deliberately being ignoring the world where guides are, finding it difficult to manage, I could still feel them quite intensely, and now that feeling is gone. My sense is that maybe those days are fading away, and this phase of our lives is about self empowerment, learning about what our illusions are through day to day life. The whole inner guide thing. Sonia Choquette always said a guide's purpose is to lead us to our inner selves and the herenow. Nothing happened in our physical world during Ze Shift but maybe the other dimensions changed? 

Also, I was reading a book the other day which was SO TRUE, it was talking about peak experiences, and how they are kinda meaningless compared to being able to practice bodichitta or whatever the word is, during the day. Altered states can become addictive, we can end up chasing them or feeling bereft if we aren't experiencing them, or we can find ourselves assuming something's wrong. It becomes one more thing on the loooong list that we are resistent to, not accepting, no receptive to, or bothered about. So the upshot of this book, it's a buddhist one someone lent me, is that it isn't those highs or supernormal experiences that are the guts of real spirituality, it's more about life itself and our waking state, being conscious, kind to ourselves, doing our best, catching ourselves when we're being mean to ourselves, whatever. Their idea of a great meditation is having no expectations, ideally actually sitting there in great discomfort if that's what is happening, and sitting with it. Staying with it. To this author, there is no such thing as a bad meditation, and meditation isn't meant to be a tool to escape painful feelings. Also that painful or irritating feelings are just a fact to accept rather than fight or conquer. I liked those concepts. I've parpaphrased pretty badly here though. Having a meditation or waking up from sleep feeling a lot of interference or weirdness could be as simple as your system purging something. I say, never underestimate the power of your own consciousness, and meditating can shine an awfully bright light and give old energetic toxins the chance to dislodge, make themselves known in the process, then leave your system. Maybe that's happening? Regardless, I know it and you will be juuuust fine smiley: wink